What's New

PFLAG of Greater Providence will not hold a December meeting this year. But we want to send this holiday message to all our Web visitors.

If you are the parent of a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person, you may be anticipating a holiday visit from him or her. Even though you have embraced your child in love, and accept his/her homosexuality, you may nervously foresee that the grandparents, neighbors and extended family who gather with you at holiday time may show their disapproval -- subtly or openly. This is a time when your child really needs your support.

Don’t let these disparaging people draw you into negative conversations. They have no right to criticize your acceptance of your child. They have no right to make you justify that acceptance, or to make you listen to reasons to reject your loved one. Remain calm and explain simply that your love is unconditional.

And if you are a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person going to visit your family of origin -- perhaps with a new romantic partner -- even if your immediate family is accepting, you may be worried about the reactions and curiosity of some extended family and friends. You don’t owe them any detailed explanation. Just say, “This is my partner, Fred,” and then change the subject.

But if you haven’t come out to your immediate family, think about whether Christmas is the right time to do it, or to bring home a significant other. The pressures of extensive travel, shopping, and preparing for crowds of visitors may put your family in a less-than-receptive frame of mind. You may find them more accepting at a different time of year.

And if you are out to your family but they have rejected you, you don’t need to go “home” and let them re-state their disapproval. Consider spending the holidays with your local close friends who will affirm you.

By all means, call or email PFLAG/Greater Providence for suggestions or literature for making the holidays meaningful and happy.

* * *

If you feel the need for support, or for information about our chapter, please contact us (contact details in column at right). All are welcome at all meetings. We also offer telephone support (401-751-7571) to people not quite ready to come to a meeting.